Talking to your parents about assisted living

Daughter enjoying time with her mother

Seeing your parents struggle with simple tasks is difficult – but talking to them about assisted living doesn’t have to be.

Learn how to start a compassionate conversation that respects your parents’ autonomy and well-being.

How do I bring up assisted living to my parents?

Give examples of how their daily lives will be easier. Assisted living communities can take care of the chores people may not want to do anymore, including housekeeping, yardwork and cooking.

Since assisted living communities are licensed medical providers, your parents can also get help with health-related issues.

Caregivers help with everyday activities they may be struggling with, like bathing, getting dressed or managing their medications. A move to assisted living can take care of the basics, leaving your loved one with extra time and energy to focus more on what matters most to them.

Learn more about assisted living services.

What if they feel like I’m taking control of their life?

Focus on telling your loved one how you feel, not what they should do.

Use “what if” language and avoid “you should” or “you need to,” as that may make your parent feel defensive.

Express why you’re concerned about their health or safety and offer resources for them to use to learn more.

Make sure they know that it’s ultimately their decision to make, but you’ll be there to support them no matter what.

What if my parents are afraid of losing their independence?

When your parents get help with daily activities and cut out household chores, they’ll likely find they have more free time to use however they wish. Assisted living can help them more confidently do exactly what they want to do.

Whether your parents would prefer to attend a group activity or pursue their hobbies alone, every day at an assisted living community offers the chance to lead the life they want.

What if they insist they’re OK on their own?

Your parents may feel isolated and lonely at home, even if they don’t want to talk about it. Moving to an assisted living community can help them connect with other seniors and keep them active.

Knowing 24-hour medical assistance is available can also give you peace of mind and help your parents feel safer.

What if they aren’t convinced a move is right for them?

Ask them questions they may not have considered like:

  • Can you do everyday tasks easily, without assistance?
  • Are you eating healthy or as well as you should be?
  • Do you always feel safe at home and when you’re running errands?
  • Do you wish more people were around to talk with?

Have them take a closer look and consider how their lives might be better with a little more help.

How will they pay for this?

Assisted living costs vary by location, level of care and services. Our communities allow residents to choose the services they need. We can also adjust their care plans if their needs change.

It’s important to talk about payment options with your parents and the assisted living communities you’re looking at together.

Explore available payment options.

What do I help look for in an assisted living community?

Talk to your parents about what’s most important to them and find communities that offer those options.

  • Do they want a full-sized kitchen? Or would they rather have meals prepared for them?
  • Is it important to have a second bedroom? Would a studio apartment be easier to maneuver in?
  • Is there scheduled transportation to help them run errands? Do they need a parking spot for their car?
  • Do they want help with housekeeping or laundry?
  • Is there an on-site beautician? Wellness classes or equipment? A chapel? Social activities? A place to have coffee and snacks?

Take some time to find an assisted living community with amenities and apartment layouts that best suit your parents’ lifestyles and preferences.

Who qualifies for assisted living?

Qualifications are based on the individual care requirements of a potential resident. Assisted living is not an ideal setting for people who need continuous supervision, extensive medical care or specialized services like memory care.

In many states, a person only qualifies to live in an assisted living community if they need assistance performing at least two activities of daily living – such as bathing, grooming, dressing, making meals and transferring from sitting to standing or lying to sitting.

Residents’ physical needs must be predictable and stable. They can receive a high level of care but they can’t require 24-hour care.

Schedule a tour

The best way to know if assisted living is a good fit is to take a tour. Talk to people who live in the building and discuss any hesitations you have with staff members.

Find an assisted living community near you.

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